Lesson Six: The AI Wonder Stock

Wow! We have discussed so much already and we are only 6 chapters in?! How are you feeling? I trust you are wildly excited about all the new thoughts and ideas that are coming into your mind! This is where many people will start to become frightened, however. Why? Because this is all so new! Remember, most people never openly discuss money or how it impacts their lives or especially how they feel internally about money. Everyone simply knows they want more.

Here are some interesting thoughts I had when I first went down this mental rabbit hole. These are those fears and mental hurdles that always will come into your mind and life when you start contemplating all of the ways that exist to make more money. Some of the questions that flooded my mind were ‘What if I make more money and become a drug addict? Or an alcoholic? What if I lose it all? What if I change and I become a bad person? What if I become greedy? What if I always get asked for money and give it all away because I’m too nice?’

Let’s focus on that last one for a few paragraphs, because this subconscious belief is one very few people ever want to admit, yet it’s the pink elephant in the room.

“What if I always get asked for money and give it all away because I’m too nice?”

Most people genuinely want to help others when they become rich and wealthy. Giving back, assisting, helping out the needy, the list goes on. BUT, they do realize that their amount of money is finite. We know money grows on trees, but as we will be describing shortly, you can cut a tree down and deprive yourself of all its bounty.

You probably get asked for money right now, don’t you? Yet you are able to say no. Remind yourself – there have been times where you’ve walked along a downtown street and you’ve seen someone in obvious need of assistance. Their faces had the deepest look of despair, but you just walked on by and your heart hurt. You know it’s not money they need. It’s shelter or food or medical care, but money isn’t the answer. Money isn’t always the answer because money is a tool! If you try to use a hammer when tweezers are required, that pesky hair on your eyebrow most likely will not get plucked.

Here’s a quote that really shook my world: “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” This is from Warren Buffett himself. What I struggled with until recently, I lived my life as a YES man. Saying yes to everyone and everything. It’s still something I struggle with, but I have gotten better with it. That quote has revolutionized my way of thinking, because I see that while I want to be ‘really successful’, I say yes to so many things. A book that helped me learn how to say no and schedule my time and priorities better and was Essentialism by Greg McKeown.

When you become more successful, you will have more money trees! But for now, just forge ahead knowing you will have to say ‘no’ more often. Just become used to it and start practicing it. It is okay to say ‘no’. That doesn’t make you a mean person. It doesn’t make you evil or greedy, saying no is just an answer to a question.

Yet, this is one of the mental hurdles that will subconsciously hold a massive amount of people back from becoming wealthy, because they have a fear of turning into a greedy, evil person who has to say ‘no’ more frequently. Saying no is actually what wise people do.

Put yourself in the shoes of an apple farmer. What do you imagine the farmer’s reply would be if someone asked him to cut down one of his apple trees in order to make it easier for them to pick apples? The farmer would never want someone to cut down their tree! It’s the metaphor for someone asking you for money, and you knowing that money isn’t going to help them. Their mindset is not ready for the money, because it will simply be thrown away and not appreciated. Even if it is a family member or friend, it’s the wrong tool for the wrong time. You would actually be doing them a disservice. Your family member or friend might be addicted to spending money improperly. If they do not have a proper mindset or the mental fortitude to respect the tool of money, simply say no.

Realize that this could be a mother or father. A brother or sister, A cousin, niece, nephew or other relative. Is there anything wrong with them asking you? Nope! They see an opportunity! You should reward them for their line of thinking. This is important. You can even thank them for asking you. The conversation could go something like this:

Family member or friend: “Hey, so I heard you hit it big at [insert the way you will make more money] and I have this great idea for [insert an idea they have to strike it big] and I was hoping maybe you could help me out?”

You: “That is so thoughtful of you to ask. Thank you. I know that you were probably scared of asking and it takes courage, however, I am not an expert in [insert their idea to strike it big] and per my financial plan, I am only allowed to take financial risks in an area where I am an expert.”

Now, what if you are an expert in what they are asking money for? Perhaps you flip houses and have absolutely crushed it in recent years. Well, then you will know if they are presenting you with a good deal. You will have the ability to actually judge – ‘is this a good idea?’

Most often, when you are approached from anyone asking you for money, it will be for something of which you are not a specialist. Perhaps it is a fund raiser, raising money for endangered gorillas. If you find yourself comfortable saying and using the term, “it’s not in my financial plan to take risks in an area where I am an expert,” it means you’ve thought it through.

If you LOVE gorillas and it’s been your mission to help them, fantastic! Then you are now presented with an opportunity to learn more about how you can help. Get as many details as you can about the donation or offer, and take a calculated approach.

The truth is, when you have more money, you simply will receive countless opportunities to spend it. Money LOVES to work. It loves to be spent, circulated and used. This means you will receive loads of opportunities to put it to work. But keep in mind what Bret Stephens said: “Generosity is a virtue, but unlimited generosity is a fast route to bankruptcy.”

This practice of saying no simply gives you the opportunity, the freedom, and the path to focus on what matters most to YOU. It is perfectly fine and acceptable to help those in need, to give, and to be generous. I encourage you, constantly look for new ways to show generosity and to truly feel it.

Generosity is a feeling that when it occupies the soul, there is no room for any other feelings. It’s all-encompassing. There is true warmth in generosity. Therefore, we have to protect our tree. Just like it’s possible to pick all the apples from a tree, it is possible to spend more money than you make or have. Sure, you can always go create more money by adding more value, but trees are living things. They are alive! They can be mis-treated, and so can your trees of money. If you never water them, they can die. If the trees are planted in the wrong soil, they can wither and produce low quality fruit. No sunlight, I heard, is a problem for trees as well. Just like the physical tree, the money tree in your mind has to be kept alive. Remember, money is everywhere. It is our thoughts and beliefs that determine how much we have and what we do with it.

Remember that time you were at work, and ‘that one person’ came up to you and started talking to you? You already aren’t super fond of this person. Their style is kind of shabby, their breath isn’t wonderful, their teeth are kind of jaggy, their whole energy has this ‘Oscar the Grouch’ flair and you have work to do. And the whole time, you knew they were going to ask you a question and you were saying no internally, but when they finished, you said yes to their request? You know why this occurs right? Because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. As humans we’ve associated yes as good and no as bad.

We have to teach that voice to say no both internally (which it has no issue doing) and no out loud when we must. Our understanding has to become that no is simply an answer to a question. If someone asks you to buy a product that you don’t want, nor would this product bring value to your life, simply say “no.”

How weird is that? Even when you read that, your brain thought ‘Wow, just saying no would be rude. I would have to say no thank you.’ HAHA. Why is that? They are asking you for money or time, which are both the only tools we can ever use to grow. That’s it. Done. Finished, end of discussion. We can either use time or money. That person is requesting a beautiful tool from you and it’s your tool!

I like how Stephanie Lahart put it: “Let today mark a new beginning for you. Give yourself permission to say NO without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish. Anybody who gets upset and/or expects you to say YES all of the time clearly doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Always remember: You have a right to say NO without having to explain yourself. Be at peace with your decisions.”

And my boy Amit Kalantri said, “Real freedom is saying ‘no’ without giving a reason.”

How powerful is that?! That might become my new favorite quote next month. How many times has a friend asked you to a dinner party and it wasn’t in your budget, but you said yes anyway just to put it on a credit card? Or your younger cousin asked you to pay for his tuxedo to his own wedding because he didn’t have the money, even though he has a job? Or the time you bought that one course on the phone because the salesperson was pushy and really good at their job and you more or less agreed to the purchase simply to get rid of the person? There goes $399, right down the tubes.

Remember, your brain internally is terrified of displeasing people. And your brain knows for a 100% certainty, when you become more rich and wealthy, folks will be asking you for money. And if your answer is always yes, rather than no, you will run out of money. And that would be failure. And your brain doesn’t want failure, so it’s much easier just not having the money!

BOOM! REVELATION people! THROW your hands in the air!

Anytime I’m at a live event, this is the time people go crazy. Think about that even for just a few minutes. Your brain, energy and mind are self sabotaging your success because they don’t want to go through the discomfort of saying no to friends, family, or aggressive sales people you are not fond of anyway. The surprising fact is, your brain is already very good at saying no. As mentioned earlier, your brain says no all the time. It is usually internally, rarely out loud – and often it says no to your wonderful ideas because of some hidden, underlying fear. And that fear is displeasing someone, most likely.

Once you tell your brain that it is going to happen it will slowly begin accepting the certainty, and you have a better shot of money coming into your life. You will turn people off. You will say no to actual humans, with your mouth or hands. There will definitely be times and instances where you do not give someone money and that might upset or offend them. Guess what, people get offended.

I’ve seen people get offended because they didn’t receive enough money. They held out for another contract, or didn’t sign the paper, or didn’t cash the check. Is that a bad thing? Nope. They know what they wanted and they had the power to say no. The truth is, people often just take offense.

Kris Carr once said, “You can’t please everyone. When you’re too focused on living up to other people’s standards, you aren’t spending enough time raising your own. Some people may whisper, complain and judge. But for the most part, it’s all in your head. People care less about your actions than you think. Why? They have their own problems!”

Which means, you’ll probably even upset family members. Heaven forbid, maybe even your immediate family! GASP.

Am I saying, even your parents might ask for money? Especially your parents! Your brain is really terrified of this one.

“Jerremy, are you saying that I shouldn’t give money to my parents?”

I’m certainly not saying you shouldn’t. Haha

What I am saying is, do not give them all of it. I am definitely saying there’s a chance they will ask for it OR better yet, throw out weird vibes and energies which might make you feel bad about having money. It’s not their fault. Remember, they too grew up believing an exorbitant amount of untruths about money. As great as your parents are, it’s likely that they also have a vast amount of limiting beliefs about money. Why? Because they got it from their parents.

The best thing to do when this happens is to make an attempt to help your parents out of the rut. Send them books (like this one), tapes, YouTube videos, CD’s, DVD’S, buy them tickets to seminars, just get their brain involved in the repair process!

It’s such a liberating feeling when you can openly discuss money and finances with your parents! Just being able to chat with family and especially parents about budgets, future visions, cash flow, income streams, good debt and bad debt, sets up the large possibility of creating future legacies and generational wealth for your family.

Since we are on the topic, there is a healthy chance you have children. What are the two huge issues most families and parents just totally skirt? Sex and money, of course. Uhh, why do the two best things ever constantly get overlooked and under discussed? It’s a shame. Take the route of communicating! Discuss money with your children. Even at a young age, they need to know how it works.

I’ve heard from numerous parents their fear of discussing money is because they are never that financially sound. So, why should their kids listen to them? What if their kids ask them other questions they don’t know the answer to? WONDERFUL! That is called learning people! HAHA. We can no longer be afraid of not knowing something. If you are unaware of an answer, tell your kid, ‘Hey, I really am not sure. What a great question. Let’s go find out together.’ Your child will emulate you in many ways. And if you are bad at finances, the chances are, your kid will be as well. But if you as a parent do not start speaking with your kid early and often about the things that matter in life, someone else will.

Beth Koblinger is a wonderful author and exceptional advocate for finances and helping your children learn early. She said “It’s okay if you are not a millionaire – you can still easily teach your kids about budgeting and basic money concepts. And if you still feel inadequate as a teacher, good! Go learn with them. Togetherness in learning, I’m all for that!”

Do you recall your parents ever sitting down and discussing money with you in detail?

• If yes, what did you all talk about?
• If no, why do you think they avoided that discussion?
• Who in your family would be the first to ask you for money, if you received $1,000,000 extra in the next year from your hard work and value adding?
• Would you feel weird inside saying ‘no’ versus ‘no thank you’ and if yes, why?
• Do you feel your family members would love you less if you did not give them money?